The most important thing I taught my children

By Erika Rizkallah

With the exception of teaching my kids about God’s love for them, the single most important thing I’ve taught them is to trust their gut. In a language they could understand I called this their “Spidey Senses” and explained that God gave us all Spidey Senses to help us know when to run from danger. When they felt those senses tingle, they should run for help, no matter what. And mommy and daddy would never be mad or embarrassed if they did.

                                 Teach your kids to trust their “Spidey Senses.”

I can’t tell you how many times my children came to me saying, “Mommy, my Spidey Sense started tingling, so I ran away!” They exited numerous encounters (probably freaking out some well-meaning adults along the way) but I always praised them for it.

As my daughters got older they became highly sensitive to feelings and energy they picked up from people. More than once they used it to escape dangerous situations.

I’m reminded of this because last week I had to pick up a young friend – a daughter of my heart – after she’d been date raped. For now, I’ll call her “Jessica” and like many sad and strange tales, there’s more to the story I can’t talk about. But what I can say is that Jessica, who just turned 21, didn’t trust her gut and got hurt as a result.

                                        Sex trafficking is a global problem

She connected with a man on Tinder, a popular relationship and dating site. One look at the front page and it’s easy to see how people can be lured in by the beautiful people and positive testimonies. Let me say that I’m not blaming Tinder in any way. Jessica takes responsibility for her actions and has had both good and bad experiences meeting people on this site.

However, in this case she was preyed upon. Only now can she look back and see the things that were a little (and a lot) “off” about this guy. But he was a smooth talker, a player – and she ignored her intuition. She went out for a couple of drinks with him and woke up naked in his bed the next day with no memory of what happened the night before. She was drugged.

                               14,500-17,500 people are trafficked in the U.S. annually

The detective and hospital nurse believe he may be part of a larger organization – like a sex trafficking ring – and his plan was to lure and trap her into prostitution.

The one thing Jessica did right was go to the hospital, but the incident sparked an argument with her naturally upset family. So now she’s here with mine.

Why did I post about this topic today? Because as parents and homeschoolers, we’re responsible for giving our children all the skills and tools they need to navigate this perverted and evil world. If you haven’t yet talked to your children about intuition, please do. You might spare them from danger and trauma on the road ahead of them.

Now you: When has trusting intuition worked for you?

 

The challenge of teaching boys

Homeschooling my middle school and high school age children is the most challenging job I’ve ever had.

Yesterday for instance, was a disaster. Being goofy, disregarding instructions, and inattention creates a frustrated teacher. Ok, maybe that’s not quite a disaster but it was certainly “one of those days.” Ever had one?

In my work life I’ve been a nanny, store manager, executive assistant, controller of a large company and a children’s minister. But teaching my own children and one nephew is harder than any of those jobs.

Last night – at the end of a stress filled day – my son runs into my bedroom wild-eyed. He’s coughing, choking and spewing green foam from his mouth. He grabs my water bottle as I rush over, ready to Heimlich him. Once I see he can breathe, I push him toward the bathroom screaming, “What did you do? What the H#%! is that? After he vomits green gunk (and everything else) into my trashcan, he wipes his mouth, looks at me like I’m crazy and says…

“What?”

It turns out, he took “the Gamma challenge” which is the gamer version of “the cinnamon challenge.” I was so angry I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Oh, by the way, my son is a gamer and Gamma is a powdered energy drink. It’s kind of like Tang, but with added junk vitamins. I tossed the Gamma and shut my bedroom door for the rest of the night.

Boys are different and I haven’t yet mastered the art of teaching them. Most of the time I can’t imagine why they do some of the things they do. For example…

Why? Why would you tie your drawstring to the front door?

He thought this would be an appropriate cold-weather Halloween costume. I didn’t.

“I’m going as a man.”

I just need to take one picture of you in front of the tree son.

Now, my girls are better. For the most part they’re easier, except one likes to do her work and get on with life, and the other is not in any hurry.

Yes, each gender has challenges and goes through difficult seasons, but you know what?

I wouldn’t change a thing. They each teach me about a different side of life and I always remember . . . Tomorrow is another day. And I’ll keep headache medicine and a stress relieving ball nearby at all times.

♦♦♦♦♦

The Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW) offers an excellent e-book entitled, Teaching Boys, by Andrew Pudewa and Woody Robertson. I’ve ordered products from IEW and highly recommend their site for great info and writing curriculum (I don’t get paid in any way to endorse them). I got my copy of Teaching Boys last year, but I found a link to the free e-book on homeschoolgiveaways.com.

Your turn: Do you have any boy related teaching tips to share?

Life Skills: Helping your kids learn responsibility

This post is inspired by a blog post I read on A Homeschool Mom. She wrote about raising motivated learners and suggests that when we allow children to participate in the chores and duties of our home, we’re teaching them important life skills.

I wholeheartedly agree!

She then asked readers to comment about tasks we’d turned over to our children and that got me thinking . . .

One year when my eldest daughter, Dania, turned ten, I decided one of the gifts I wanted to give her was responsibility. I wrapped “the gift” in an actual box – the words “Congratulations on turning ten! Now you get to take on the responsibility of doing the dishes.”

                    She thought I was joking.

Mind you, I didn’t just hand the task over to her to do as she pleased. I spent time training her on how to properly load and unload the dishwasher. I made it easier by making sure she could sort silverware into multi-compartment storage trays.

 

Then I taught her where to put all the dishes and pots and pans. And when she got it wrong or chose to be sloppy or lazy, I trudged to wherever she was and made her redo it. Eventually she understood that if she didn’t do it right the first time, she’d just have to do it again.

I’m not going to lie, it’s a painful process at first. I can unload the dishwasher in less than three minutes (I know because I try to race myself). But having to train other people can take five times as long (at least). I found that the hardest part for me is being patient while my child is learning a new task.

The funniest thing is that when I gave Dania this gift, her younger sister, Katya, got jealous and decided that she too would have the same responsibility. To that I said, “The more the merrier!”

Here’s a tip: Give your child the job you hate doing the most – it motivates you to hand off jobs every year!

My girls are now 17 and 18-years-old. Dania started working in a restaurant a couple of years ago and outshone the other kitchen workers. In fact, since she’s been there, the sanitation score has gone up and she’s been promoted – twice. I take satisfaction knowing that her early training helped her get and keep a job when others were laid off for the winter.

Your turn to share: What’s your least favorite household chore?