The most important thing I taught my children

By Erika Rizkallah

With the exception of teaching my kids about God’s love for them, the single most important thing I’ve taught them is to trust their gut. In a language they could understand I called this their “Spidey Senses” and explained that God gave us all Spidey Senses to help us know when to run from danger. When they felt those senses tingle, they should run for help, no matter what. And mommy and daddy would never be mad or embarrassed if they did.

                                 Teach your kids to trust their “Spidey Senses.”

I can’t tell you how many times my children came to me saying, “Mommy, my Spidey Sense started tingling, so I ran away!” They exited numerous encounters (probably freaking out some well-meaning adults along the way) but I always praised them for it.

As my daughters got older they became highly sensitive to feelings and energy they picked up from people. More than once they used it to escape dangerous situations.

I’m reminded of this because last week I had to pick up a young friend – a daughter of my heart – after she’d been date raped. For now, I’ll call her “Jessica” and like many sad and strange tales, there’s more to the story I can’t talk about. But what I can say is that Jessica, who just turned 21, didn’t trust her gut and got hurt as a result.

                                        Sex trafficking is a global problem

She connected with a man on Tinder, a popular relationship and dating site. One look at the front page and it’s easy to see how people can be lured in by the beautiful people and positive testimonies. Let me say that I’m not blaming Tinder in any way. Jessica takes responsibility for her actions and has had both good and bad experiences meeting people on this site.

However, in this case she was preyed upon. Only now can she look back and see the things that were a little (and a lot) “off” about this guy. But he was a smooth talker, a player – and she ignored her intuition. She went out for a couple of drinks with him and woke up naked in his bed the next day with no memory of what happened the night before. She was drugged.

                               14,500-17,500 people are trafficked in the U.S. annually

The detective and hospital nurse believe he may be part of a larger organization – like a sex trafficking ring – and his plan was to lure and trap her into prostitution.

The one thing Jessica did right was go to the hospital, but the incident sparked an argument with her naturally upset family. So now she’s here with mine.

Why did I post about this topic today? Because as parents and homeschoolers, we’re responsible for giving our children all the skills and tools they need to navigate this perverted and evil world. If you haven’t yet talked to your children about intuition, please do. You might spare them from danger and trauma on the road ahead of them.

Now you: When has trusting intuition worked for you?

 

Every day is a blessing from God

By Erika Rizkallah (reposted from http://www.Erikarizkallah.com)

“Every day I feel is a blessing from God. And I consider it a new beginning. Yeah, everything is beautiful.” Prince

2015 was a hard year for me – filled with physical, mental and emotional challenges. I can’t remember how it began but it’s fresh enough to remember how it ended.

November and December was like a slow moving hurricane whirling off the coast toward a direct hit on my home.

Last year my husband and I decided it was time to renovate our highly outdated home. We’ve been wanting to remodel certain areas; get rid of the mirrored backsplash in the kitchen, replace broken appliances and get rid of the gold fixtures in the guest bathroom.

But you know how those things go. Once you decide to change certain  areas, you may as well go big and do it right. So what started out as a simple kitchen/bathroom remodel turned into a full scale renovation of our middle and upper levels.

There were many disagreements between us along the way. Multiple meetings with the contractor and interior designer that came with the job. And packing up EVERYTHING. This was no easy feat for a homebody homeschooling mom like me, but I did it (for the most part). In order to give the contractor a good start we decided to take a trip so we left the country for two weeks and spent time visiting family in Dubai.

And we came back from this life-changing vacation to this . . .

Goodbye kitchen

My favorite room in the house – our heritage room

Just like a man . . . the tv stays

So that’s where I’ve “been” – metaphorically and physically speaking – and I have so many new things to share with you in 2016.

I’ve resolved that this year will be different – I’m saying goodbye to the physical, mental and emotional challenges of last year. And even though I’m living in a literal mess, I agree with Prince’s assessment that each day is a blessing from God and yeah, everything is beautiful.

Trusting God with homeschool plans

By Erika Rizkallah

Here’s the follow up to my post about the adversary trying to steal my homeschooling joy.

My husband was convinced that sending our son, Sam, to a private prep school was the best choice for him. But I wasn’t. I’ll be honest, Sam is a challenge. My pregnancy was difficult, his birth grueling and at nine months he weaned himself. I’m not kidding, he took one look at what I offered, pushed my boob aside and sat up. Done!

In kindergarten he had panic attacks at the doorway despite my efforts and those of a gentle and loving teacher. It got better in second grade but increased again after bullying incidents (by kids and a teacher) in fourth grade. By the end of that awful year I was done. I decided to trust what God was asking of me and give homeschool a try.

It was the best decision we ever made.

Sam’s always been one of those kids who hangs out on the fringes of activity. He doesn’t like many people, loud noises or chaos. He’s never been one for sitting down either.

First grade field day

watching from a distance

So I don’t know why my husband thought transitioning back again in 8th grade would be successful. I suspect it’s because he’s like Sam and avoids school activities like the plague (leaving me to deal with the drama). But he was insistent and I agreed that if it was meant to be, God would work it for good. My husband had a connection at the prep school and was assured of an “in.” He was 100% certain.

With a heavy heart and a friend’s assertion that “private schools will take anyone whose check doesn’t bounce,” we went through the application process and entrance exam. We waited for the director to call and prepared to shop for new school clothes and supplies.

But special clothes aren’t needed for homeschool and we won! I mean, God won. The school called saying unfortunately they couldn’t accept him because they didn’t feel they could meet his needs.

What that really means is that he didn’t meet their standards. My thoughts on that could create an entirely different post but I’ll spare you.

Anyway, I’ve never been so happy to have Sam rejected! The takeaway for me was this: God’s plan won’t be thwarted. I yielded to my husband’s decision and was faithful through the process, but in the end, God’s will is what matters.

We can trust him with all things.

Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

Your Turn: What plans have you trusted God with?

 

 

Wrestling with the thief: When joy is threatened

It’s that time again. Time for planning the school year ahead of us. Generally, this is one of my favorite times a year – it’s right up there next to the fresh, earthy smell of spring . . .

(I wrote those words over 25 days ago!)

But this year, I’m late – a little like one of those late blooming flowers that I thought wasn’t going to come up with the others. I should have known that after I published my last post, Joy Story, something would come along and try to steal it. The well known and often repeated words of Jesus says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

If anyone can recognize the work of the thief, It’s Jesus.

Anyway, right after I wrote that post about my daughter, Kat, getting accepted into the local community college, she inexplicably changed her mind and decided she might want to spend her senior year at a local college prep academy. What the heck? I was irritated to say the least; I’d spent loads of time getting her into the college, but ultimately it’s her academic future and I wanted her to have the choice. So we went through the requirements of taking a tour of the school and spending a day in the classrooms. She loved it.

But because she’s a teenager she of course couldn’t make up her mind. So I gave her a few weeks to decide. Then all of a sudden, my husband felt that since she wanted to go to the prep school our son, Sam, should go as well.

Oh. My. God.

I was crushed. I know the Lord called me to homeschool my children and I also know a traditional classroom setting isn’t the place for him right now. But my husband was insistent – he wanted him to be in “a regular school.” In his own words, “This homeschooling b.s. isn’t working for me.”

All my dreams and hopes for guiding Sam through his high school years were smashed. What’s a broken-hearted mother to do?

Pray!

Oh Lord, how I prayed that somehow my husband would change his mind. Listen to my reasoning. Understand my son’s desire to continue homeschooling. But he didn’t and so I thought. Maybe God is doing a new thing . . .

Since this post is already long, I’ll tell you what happened in the next one – and I promise I won’t take 4 months to do it. Stay tuned!

For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland. Isaiah 43:19

Joy Story: Homeschooling changes lives forever!

Thank you all for your patience and prayers as we went through the process of dual enrollment in our local community college.

I’m thrilled to report that my daughter, Katya, was accepted into the program. After a long four hour testing period, she exhibited mastery of all subjects. It means big changes in our homeschooling routine for next year and I feel the pressure lifted from my shoulders.

And by that I mean literal pressure – and pinching. I hold all my stress in my shoulders and suffer from pinched nerves that prevent me from turning my head sometimes.

Homeschooling teenagers is not all fun and games. Surprised? They can be as stubborn and set in their ways as adults – training for old age I guess. Anyway, I went for a celebratory massage the next day!

At the same time, I regret to say that my nephew, Justin, wasn’t accepted into the program. This is difficult for all of us, but he exhibited courage and grace well beyond his seventeen years. Now, he and his mom are trying to determine the right path for him to follow for next year.

Despite this setback, I also got some good news today after his mom called the college’s program director. He told her Justin was only four points away from mastering the English requirement. Four points! We could hardly believe it because all his life Justin was labeled learning disabled in reading skills.

In fact, when he came to me from public school a year and a half ago in 9th grade, he only read at the 5th grade level. This last national testing revealed that he was up to a 10th grade level. The Accuplacer test shows that he has the potential to work at the college level.

This is not to toot my own horn, but goes to show what daily one-on-one help and encouragement can do for a kid beaten down by a system that wrote him off as “unable.”

It’s great that Katya got in, but for me and even bigger payoff is knowing Justin’s life is changed forever. He’s not the speechless, broken kid he once was, but has a new confidence for the road ahead.

All glory goes to God for that. Can I get an Amen?

Now you: What’s been your biggest homeschooling joy story this year?

Homeschool Help!

I know it must seem like I’ve taken an extra long spring break – don’t I wish – and I apologize for being gone so long. At the last minute, my daughter and nephew (also my homeschooler) decided they want to be dual enrolled in the local community college.

Can you say “freaked out?” Because I can. I am totally freaked out about the idea of sending my kiddos off to college so soon. Even though it’s not really college, it’s high school in a college setting. They’re not ready. I mean . . . I’m not ready.

I don’t always jump at their every wish or impulse, but this is a great opportunity for us all. It allows them to finish high school and earn college credit at the same time. It will also free me up from teaching two students. Bonus!

Because I didn’t anticipate this, I’m not adequately prepared. Thank God – and I do thank God – for Lee Binz. For those of you not familiar with her, she’s a sanity-saving resource for me and many others. One of the things I have to do to get the kids ready, is prepare high school transcripts and Lee is a wealth of information for everything high school related.

This week I’ll prep my kids for the required Accuplacer test and beef up their essay writing skills. So while I’m busy prayerfully trying to stay focused on the goal of getting in, I ask that you lift us up in prayer as well.

Be back soon with tales of this adventure and helpful hints in case you decide to dual enroll.

With God, it’s always an adventure!

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Jesus (Matthew 21:22)

Testing Testing 1-2-3!

I was never good at tests . . . especially math.

I’ll never forget one year in fourth grade – this would be around 1977 – we took a special test. Our math teacher walked between our desks, placing a sharpened pencil and test packet – face down – on each one. When we turned it over, I noticed something different. At the bottom was a strange configuration of black lines: skinny, medium and wider ones.

I dreaded any kind of math test (still do). I couldn’t understand math well and tests made me anxious. So during that class, while the other kids answered the questions, I counted the lines over and over, convinced they were some sort of magic code I could crack in order to get the answers.

Later we learned the name of this new thing: it was called a barcode.  Our teacher told us the paper would be put into a machine and graded somehow, but I didn’t believe her.

Testing these days is surrounded by controversy, especially when it comes to Common Core. I read a newspaper article the other day that said our School Superintendent was disappointed with the state about the level of required testing. For example, in one high school, students will be subjected to 188 tests designed mainly to assess the teachers, not the kids.

Thankfully homeschool testing is nothing like that. My kids took their national  standardized tests two weeks ago (many schools use only state tests). We hired a private testing company to come to our home and administer the Woodcock Johnson III test. Our administrator is a woman we’ve used for three years; she’s child friendly, compassionate and super smart. She encourages me and the kids to keep going and finish well.

Best of all, no one gets stressed out (ok, except me the first year).

Testing is really for parents; it lets us know how our child is doing and in what areas they could use improvement.

The first year of testing was tough on all of us. I didn’t know what to expect so I worried and got myself and the kids all twisted up about it. Until something happened that I’ll never forget. I took a prayer walk and poured out my heart to God. He said, “Your kids don’t get their intelligence from you, they get it from me.”

I got schooled!

Your Turn: How do you and your kids handle testing?

The challenge of teaching boys

Homeschooling my middle school and high school age children is the most challenging job I’ve ever had.

Yesterday for instance, was a disaster. Being goofy, disregarding instructions, and inattention creates a frustrated teacher. Ok, maybe that’s not quite a disaster but it was certainly “one of those days.” Ever had one?

In my work life I’ve been a nanny, store manager, executive assistant, controller of a large company and a children’s minister. But teaching my own children and one nephew is harder than any of those jobs.

Last night – at the end of a stress filled day – my son runs into my bedroom wild-eyed. He’s coughing, choking and spewing green foam from his mouth. He grabs my water bottle as I rush over, ready to Heimlich him. Once I see he can breathe, I push him toward the bathroom screaming, “What did you do? What the H#%! is that? After he vomits green gunk (and everything else) into my trashcan, he wipes his mouth, looks at me like I’m crazy and says…

“What?”

It turns out, he took “the Gamma challenge” which is the gamer version of “the cinnamon challenge.” I was so angry I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Oh, by the way, my son is a gamer and Gamma is a powdered energy drink. It’s kind of like Tang, but with added junk vitamins. I tossed the Gamma and shut my bedroom door for the rest of the night.

Boys are different and I haven’t yet mastered the art of teaching them. Most of the time I can’t imagine why they do some of the things they do. For example…

Why? Why would you tie your drawstring to the front door?

He thought this would be an appropriate cold-weather Halloween costume. I didn’t.

“I’m going as a man.”

I just need to take one picture of you in front of the tree son.

Now, my girls are better. For the most part they’re easier, except one likes to do her work and get on with life, and the other is not in any hurry.

Yes, each gender has challenges and goes through difficult seasons, but you know what?

I wouldn’t change a thing. They each teach me about a different side of life and I always remember . . . Tomorrow is another day. And I’ll keep headache medicine and a stress relieving ball nearby at all times.

♦♦♦♦♦

The Institute for Excellence in Writing (IEW) offers an excellent e-book entitled, Teaching Boys, by Andrew Pudewa and Woody Robertson. I’ve ordered products from IEW and highly recommend their site for great info and writing curriculum (I don’t get paid in any way to endorse them). I got my copy of Teaching Boys last year, but I found a link to the free e-book on homeschoolgiveaways.com.

Your turn: Do you have any boy related teaching tips to share?

The true heroes

Chris Martin Writes

I’ve been watching the TV show, Cops, quite a bit lately. Spike TV has been running marathons on Fridays and Saturdays. I’ve watched the show in the past, but with a much different attitude than what I have now.

I used to take joy in watching people get thrown to the ground, shot with a Taser, and eventually handcuffed. I would shake my head in disbelief as people constructed lies to try and cover their criminal activity. I would call them stupid and deserving when they resisted arrest, and were forced to their knees by officers with guns drawn.

I watch the show now with a deep sadness in my heart. Policemen encounter people during their worst moments. Some in desperation. Some in the throes of addiction. Most all of them with little or no hope. I watched one the other night where a guy wouldn’t put his weapon down…

View original post 383 more words

Homeschool help: The book that started it all

Have you ever had a crisis of faith?

A couple of years ago, two of my children began having real problems in public school. One day Katya, my 8th grader, (and the one who wasn’t having problems) insisted she wasn’t going to high school because she didn’t want to be tempted by drugs, sex or alcohol. She asked me to homeschool her.

What do you say to that? “Sorry honey, I can’t; I’m not qualified.”

Well, that’s exactly what I did.

We happened to be sitting together in Barnes & Noble at the time. When I explained that I couldn’t possibly homeschool her because she was smarter than me, she walked away. She came back five minutes later and slapped this book in my lap:

I laughed, but she was serious.

I prayed about it – hard. It’s one of those things I said I’d never be able to do because I didn’t have the desire or the patience. God confirmed that this was the path I need to take.

Just a note – Don’t ever tell God what you’ll never do.

Anyway, that’s what’s caused my crisis of faith. At the time, I couldn’t see the many ways in which God wanted to bless me. I was like the blind men that came to Jesus:

As Jesus went on from there, two blind men followed him, calling out, “Have mercy on us, Son of David!”

     When he had gone indoors, the blind men came to him, and he asked them, “Do you believe that I am able to do this?”

     “Yes Lord,” they replied.

      Then he touched their eyes and said, “According to your faith will it be done to you”; and their sight was restored.” Jesus warned them sternly, “See that no one knows about this.” But they went out and spread the news about him all over that region.”  Matthew 9:27-31

Jesus never turned down the requests of those who came to him and he still doesn’t. That promise held true for me and it will hold true for you just as soon as you decide to go to him in faith.

Dear Jesus, thank you in advance for equipping us to do what you ask us to do. May you always get the credit for your power! Amen.